UNDYING: A Bad Boy MMA Romance (Midwest Alphas) (Book 3) Read online

  “I have to believe there’s another way…” I mutter.

  Pike lets his hand rest on the door knob. “I’m all ears to you, Claire… but for the record, you’re wrong.” He pulls the door open but stops as Amy appears and blocks the doorway.

  “Guys…” she says, her eyes wide. “Veronica is here.”

  We follow her back to the main room to find Veronica standing at the entrance. Tobias and Ryan stare at her like a ghost. Her face is so pale and white. It nearly blends with the winter world falling down outside the window. She wears the same white fur coat she wore two nights ago to our meeting. As I draw closer, I notice dark stains discoloring it from top to bottom. She holds a small shoe box in her hands, clenched tightly against her chest.

  “Veronica?” Amy asks, the only one of us daring enough to step closer to her.

  Veronica’s face flicks upward. I cringe as her short, blonde hair pushes back and the dark red markings stand out on her face. She extends her hands, passing the box into Amy’s quivering grip.

  “Are you okay?” Amy asks her.

  Veronica steps around her, passing by Tobias and even Pike before settling in front of me. She silently reaches into her coat pocket and pulls out a heavily creased envelope and slaps it against my hands.

  “Veronica.” Pike moves beside her, but she jerks away from his grasp before rushing out the front door again and fading away into the heavy snowfall. He darts forward, only to stop in the doorway as a gust of harsh wind holds him back. He sighs and closes the door to keep the snow outside.

  I turn the envelope over in my hand, noticing the dark smear of dried blood along the sides, no doubt left behind by Veronica’s ghastly fingers.

  Amy sets the box down on a bench and pulls the lid off. “Oh—!” She covers her mouth with her palm and steps away from it with tears in her eyes. The lid slides from her hand and clatters to the floor.

  Tobias steps forward and looks inside the box, his expression blank and firm. He grabs the box off the bench and bends over to pick the lid up. “It’s Rick’s knife,” he says before closing it.

  “We’ll get rid of it,” Pike says. “At least Rick kept his word — about this anyway.”

  I pinch the envelope’s corner with my fingers and tear it open. The sound startles Amy and she flinches in my direction as I rip the hole a little bigger to look inside. I pull out a sheet of paper, folded down into a near-perfect square.

  “What does it say?” Tobias asks me.

  I unfold it slowly, delaying the answer to that question for as long as I can.

  “No…” I whisper, reading it to myself. I scan it again, wishing that I somehow have it wrong, but it reads the same each time. “No no no—”

  “Claire—”

  I feel Tobias in front of me, but my eyes refuse to focus on anything else. His bruised fingers enter my vision, reaching for the paper in my hands, so I take a quick step back to keep it from him.

  “Claire, what does it say?”

  I crumple it into a tiny ball, pushing it hard against my palms. “I need to talk to Charlie…” I inhale a quick breath, suddenly realizing that my body has forgotten to breathe.

  “Why?”

  “It’s—” I hesitate, feeling their eyes on me. “It’s my mother.”

  Tobias grabs my shoulders to hold me steady in front of him. “Claire, what did it say?”

  I let my tears fall down my face. “The address to our apartment.”

  Chapter 9

  Fall Back Into You

  The hotel bed is soft and warm, but I can’t feel the comfort against my skin. I can barely even remember how I got here. I can recall Tobias’ voice telling me everything would be all right before he left me here.

  Amy’s nearby. I can hear her feet pacing back and forth and the gentle whisper of her voice as she talks into her phone.

  I clutch my own phone in my hand, the edges digging into my palm. Tobias told me to keep it close. He’d call me as soon as he knew something. I’m not sure how long ago that was. An hour? Two hours? Four?

  “Claire?”

  I open my eyes, but I keep still. “What?”

  Amy’s small frame settles on the bed beside me and her fingers push the hair back from my face. “I got my dad to look into protective custody for your mom,” she says.

  I laugh. I can’t help it. “Okay…”

  “Claire…” She leans over. “She’s going to be fine, all right?”

  I close my eyes as moisture overwhelms them again. He found her. Of course he found her. I came back and left a trail of perfectly placed breadcrumbs leading right to her. We’ll just add that to the growing list of reasons why I never should have come back here in the first place.

  “Are you hungry?” Amy asks me.

  I focus hard on the question, grabbing on to anything at all that’s still within my control. “I… don’t know.”

  “I’m going to see if this place has something.” She stands up and snatches her purse off the chair by the door. “Probably just a vending machine, but I doubt either of us are too focused on healthy diets right now.”

  I nod slowly. “Sounds good.”

  “I’ll be right back.” Amy steps out into the hallway and closes the door behind her.

  Silence fills my ears, growing louder and louder until I finally sit up and look around the room. The lamp hanging on the wall is far too bright, but the room would be too dark without it. My head throbs. The pain pulsates down my neck, inching closer towards my knees.

  I want nothing more than to call my mother and hear her voice, but Tobias told me not to call her. Let us handle it, he said. Charlie has a system in place for this kind of thing. Just stay here with Amy and wait for me.

  My phone vibrates in my hand and I lurch with painful joy. I look at the screen and my heart sinks. It’s not Tobias’ number staring back at me.

  Rick.

  I shouldn’t answer it. I should set it down and ignore it. Let it ring. Let him get frustrated. If I don’t play into his game, then I can’t lose.

  The screen turns black and it settles back into my palm. I drop it onto the bed beside me and hug my pillow against my chest.

  Before I can take another full breath, the phone rings again, buzzing softly on the bedspread. I look at it, once against disgusted by Rick’s name on the screen. He’s the cat, dangling a piece of cheese on a string, hoping to lure me out of my hiding place. I reach out and tap the ignore button, silencing the phone once more.

  Almost immediately, it rings again.

  I sit up in frustration, my fingers twitching towards the phone. I give into my weakness and answer it before I can stop myself.

  “Why are you doing this?” I sob.

  “Hello, Claire.” I can hear the smirk on his voice; that cool, calm curl of his lip that still feels as familiar as family.

  “Why?! What did she ever do to you?”

  Rick sighs. “It’s my insurance policy.”

  “Insurance policy?”

  “Yes.”

  “Against what?!”

  “Right now, I have a few of my best men camped out across the street from her,” he says. “She had oatmeal for breakfast this morning. She met a co-worker for coffee afterward—”

  “Leave her alone, Rick—”

  “She’s been sitting on the couch watching crap TV for the last half hour—”

  “Stop it!”

  “Even if Uncle Charlie comes to the rescue, they’ll follow her to wherever he whisks her off to next,” he continues, his voice growing louder with each word. “She can’t hide anymore and my father will be awfully happy to know where she’s been.”

  “Rick, if you love me at all, you’ll call them off,” I plead.

  “It doesn’t work like that, Claire. When the Kings win, you’ll come back to me — it’s what we agreed to, right?” I say nothing. “Right?”

  “Yes,” I whisper.

  “But if you don’t… or if you suddenly disappear again… or e
ven if something mysteriously happens to me in my sleep, well… then my father will be receiving a very interesting phone call.”

  I sniff, forcing my tears away. “Rick, please. I’m begging you. Don’t do this—”

  The call drops, filling the room with painful silence once again. I cry out in anger and toss the phone to the floor. It slides along the carpet until finally laying to rest against the wall. It’s a decent play, one that I hate myself for not seeing beforehand. He’s using my mother as a hostage, giving me firm incentive to behave as he wants me to. It’s my choice in the end which one of us returns to them and Rick knows I’d never let my mother take that bullet.

  The door opens and Amy steps back inside. “Ugh — nothing great to choose from…” She locks the door behind her. “Looks like we’re surviving on cheesy chips and hot chocolate tonight.” She tosses the small bags onto the bed in front of me and pauses as she sees my face. “Claire, what—”

  “Do you know where Pike is?” I wipe the tears off my cheeks and stand up off the bed.

  She shakes her head. “I can find out…”

  “Can you please?” I ask as I bend down to grab my phone off the floor, along with my shoes.

  She steps in front of me. “What are you doing?”

  “I need to talk to him.”

  “Why?”

  “I just do—” I sigh. I grab my coat and throw it over my shoulder.

  “Not tonight you don’t,” she argues. “Have you seen this weather? Trust me, it can wait.”

  I glance at the window, imagining the storm outside behind the closed curtains. “Well, I can’t just sit here…”

  “Actually, Claire, I think the best thing for you right now is exactly that. You should sit down and try to relax.”

  “I can’t relax right now, Amy. My mother is—”

  “Taken care of.” She puts her hands on my shoulders. “Charlie and my dad and Tobias are all over that right now…”

  “It’s not enough,” I say, shaking my head. “She’s being watched. If she leaves, they’ll follow her.”

  “How do you know?” Her eyes go wide. “Oh, Claire. Come on. You didn’t—”

  “He called me.”

  “I can’t leave you alone for one damn minute?!”

  I step around her. “I’ll be back later.”

  “Wait— why Pike?”

  I pause with my hand on the doorknob. “Because… he’s helping me with something.”

  “Like what?” she asks, her voice firm and suspicious.

  “Don’t worry about it.” I twist the knob and pull the door open to find my way blocked by a familiar set of shoulders.

  “Oh, thank god—” Amy moans. “Tobias, will you talk some sense into her, please?”

  He looks down at me with rosy red cheeks. His hair is stiff, almost frozen by frost and cold. “Where are you going?” he asks me.

  I move back from the door and he steps inside, tracking small drops of moisture on the bottom of his shoes. He stares at me, waiting for an answer that I don’t give him.

  Amy grabs a bag of chips off the bed, along with her purse and coat. “I’ll be down the hall in Ryan’s room. I’d much rather tip-toe around him right now than deal with this.”

  Tobias holds up his hand. “Wait, Amy— don’t leave. I’m not staying.”

  I look up at him. “What?”

  “Yeah, uh…” He pushes his hand back through his wet hair. “Ryan is letting me stay with him tonight. Amy, you’ll stay here with Claire—”

  “Oh, really?” she asks.

  “Tobias, what’s going on?” I ask.

  “Can we talk a minute?” he asks me, gesturing out into the hall.

  I look at Amy and she shrugs her shoulders before I follow him out. “Tobias, what is it?”

  He closes the door and scans the empty hall. “I need you…” he pauses. “I need you to stay here tonight.”

  “Yeah, I got that already,” I say. “What’s wrong? Is my mother—?”

  “No, she’s fine—”

  “No, she’s not,” I argue.

  “Dad is heading there now and he’s hoping to have a new place set up for her by morning.”

  “You can tell him not to bother,” I mutter. “Rick will find her anyway…”

  “No, he won’t,” he says with a voice of comfort.

  “I already spoke with him, Tobias. He has people following her. It won’t matter where she goes, he’ll know where she is.”

  “You—” His voice drops and he heaves an angry sigh. “Claire, we’ll deal with that, I promise — but right now, I need to say something…”

  I pause. “Tobias, what—”

  “I love you, Claire,” he whispers, his eyes closing softly. “But…”

  “But?” I parrot back at him. “I’m sorry, Tobias, but that word isn’t necessarily something I need to hear right now following I love you.”

  “Pike was right,” he says. “Now that you’re home, I want to fall back into you, but I can’t. Not now.”

  “You’re actually listening to him?” I seethe. “After everything he has done to you, you’re siding with him instead of me?”

  “I’m not taking sides, Claire. I’m doing what’s best for us—”

  “And what is that exactly?”

  “Taking a break.”

  “A break?” I repeat. “Tobias, I can’t take a break right now.”

  “It’s only for a few days,” he whispers.

  “We may only have a few days left!”

  He inhales slowly. “Not if I keep my focus now.”

  “Six months,” I point out. “That wasn’t a long enough break for you?”

  “Claire—”

  “I’ve been back less than three days!”

  He closes his eyes. “I know.”

  I stare at him, hoping that he’ll say something else, anything that’ll kill the darkness devouring my insides, but he stays quiet. “I don’t have a say in this at all, do I?”

  “Please don’t make this harder than it already is, Claire,” he deflates. “I’m trying to get us what we want.”

  “What we want? I leave town and I completely lose my mind, but it’s what you wanted.”

  “I never wanted that—”

  “I come home, which is what I wanted, but you push me away. If you ask me, we don’t want the same things at all anymore, Tobias…” I turn back to the door, intending to leave him behind in the hallway, but he pulls me back to him, cradling me with one, swift movement. I feel his lips on mine, cold and firm. They tremble with his kiss, begging for more, but he holds himself steady.

  “Do you remember back then?” he whispers with closed eyes, his voice at the edge of a growl. “Before we were together, I said I wanted to take comfort in you, but I couldn’t. We had to wait. Do you remember that?” He opens his eyes and waits for me answer him.

  “Yes.”

  “This feels worse…” His lips brush against mine. “Now I know how you feel against me and what you taste like…”

  My entire body shakes. “We’re stronger together, Tobias—”

  “I think about you like that… with him. I think about the things you’ll be forced to do if I fail and I just…” He stares into my soul, his hands trembling against my face.

  “You made me promise not to leave your side,” I whisper. “We don’t break our promises…”

  “I know… but this is what I have to do, Claire.”

  My heart breaks in two and tears form behind my eyes. “Then go,” I finally say, giving in to everything my love for him rejects. He claims my lips with one more kiss, hard and true, before letting me go and turning away. “I love you, too.”

  He looks back at me for a brief moment, but he doesn’t let his eyes linger on me for long. “I’m going to fix this, Claire. I promise…”

  I manage to hold it together until he rounds the corner and disappears from view. My body convulses with thick sobs and I fall back against the door. With my eyes
shut tight, I imagine our perfect morning again. Waking up with him after months apart was a dream, a fucking cloud nine of emotional satisfaction. I don’t even want to the think about the possibility of it never happening again.

  I turn around and push open the hotel room door. Amy’s voice breaks the silence as I step inside. She has her phone against her ear and she bites her lip in frustration.

  “Uh huh… uh huh…” Her head jerks back and forth as anger fills her eyes. “This is crap, you know that, right?”

  I sit down on the bed and wipe the tears off my eyes, but they spill over again.

  “Ryan, I’m sorry, but I didn’t have a choice. Desperate times call for— No, you’re being immature! ... Fine.” She heaves a sigh and tosses the phone down onto the bed behind me. “Boys are so stupid!” she mutters through clenched teeth as she plops down beside me.

  “Yeah?” I sniff. “What did yours do?”

  “He’s still mad at me for quote dragging him into this tournament unquote,” she answers. “Doesn’t want to see me for a while. What did yours do?”

  I wipe my cheek. “He loves me too much.”

  She chuckles before tossing her arm around me. “What a jerk.”

  Chapter 10

  Out Of Practice

  “Tobias!”

  I don’t know how long I’ve been screaming. My throat burns with each new breath I take. I don’t remember the last time I felt my heart beat. I feel nothing but the cold darkness surrounding me. The abyss smells like freshly mixed tar. It covers my skin in black ash. I can’t seem to wipe the stickiness off my fingers.

  “Tobias!”

  His name travels back at me in soft echoes.

  “Claire!”

  I stand up off the ground. My heart finally springs back to life, pumping blood through my veins. I sprint quickly towards his voice, pushing against the shaking earth. Black hands grab at my limbs to hold me back, but I jerk myself free of them, refusing to falter.

  “Tobias!”

  I see him, standing with his back turned beneath a stunning red and orange spotlight. I fill my lungs with fresh air, hoping to expel the thick tar clinging against my lungs, but they fill with smoke instead.